With the year ending and my b’day coming up (Capricorn, rock on…), I’m getting ready to set off on an epic bender inspired by the antics described in this book, which I received from my cousin for Christmas.

But before I do, I thought it’d be fun to end the year off with one of those year-in-review type posts that so many blogs do. So I started to think of what subjects I know enough about to be able to make a definitive list of 07′s best or worst. I promptly came up with nothing, so I started looking around to see what other people had done, and was kind of amazed at how many weird lists you can find floating around cyberspace. So after a little while I realized that the best thing to do is compile a list of the best lists. To save space and hopefully spread love to the original sources, I’m only going to include a selection from each list. And to add at least a small bit of originality I’ll include a recommendation for something that was left off… So all that whatever whatever, here it is: THE TOP 5 TOP 5s of ’05(+2). Dig it:

#1 The 5 Strangest Student Science Projects

3. Fully Automated Dorm Room
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Two students from MIT have created the world’s first fully automated dorm room, featuring web control, voice activation, security system, large continuously running information displays, electric blinds, and one-touch parties. Party mode demonstration above. [Courtesy of techeblog.com]

VERY FEEL Honorable Mention: Circuit Board Sweatshirt

According to the AP:

An MIT student with what police feared was a fake bomb attached to her chest was arrested at gunpoint Friday at Logan International Airport and later claimed it was artwork, officials said.

Star Simpson, 19, had a computer circuit board and wiring in plain view over a black hooded sweat shirt she was wearing, said State Police Maj. Scott Pare, the commanding officer at the airport.

“She said that it was a piece of art and she wanted to stand out on career day,” Pare said at a news conference. “She claims that it was just art, and that she was proud of the art and she wanted to display it.”

Simpson was “extremely lucky she followed the instructions or deadly force would have been used,” Pare said. “She’s lucky to be in a cell as opposed to the morgue.”

Media response was immediate and predictable.

#2 5 Worst Fight Scenes Ever Filmed

Adisaya Piravi
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[Courtesy of Esquire]

VERY FEEL Honorable Mention: ABC After School Special Dance Rumble
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According to the youtube caption:

Amazing dancefight with the older brother from Mr. Belvedere. This is from an ABC after school special called “Ace Hits the Big Time.” Apparently Ace moved into a neighborhood where a really gay gang runs the streets and want to steal his purple socks. The song is HILLARIOUS.

#3 Top 5 Republican Gay Sex Scandals

2. Ted Haggard

Leader of the National Association of Evangelicals

(November 2006)

The Crime:
Paying male prostitutes for sex and snorting crystal meth.

The Hypocrisy: A powerful force in the evangelical movement, Haggard participated in weekly meetings with President George Bush and top advisors where he gave spiritual advice. He taught that homosexuality was an abomination and actively lobbied against gay rights.

The Quote: “I did not have a homosexual relationship with a man in Denver.”

The Video:
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[Courtesy of badmouth.net]

VERY FEEL Honorable Mention: James Guckert AKA Jeff Gannon

According to Wikipedia:

James Dale Guckert (born 1957) worked under the pseudonym Jeff Gannon as a White House reporter between 2003 and 2005, representing the virtual organization Talon News.

Gannon first gained national attention during a presidential press conference on January 26, 2005, in which he asked United States President George W. Bush a question that some in the press corps considered “so friendly it might have been planted.”Gannon stated that this question was not meant to be friendly, but to expose the hypocrisy of the left.

Gannon then came under public scrutiny, in particular for his lack of a significant journalistic background prior to his work with Talon and his alleged involvement with various homosexual escort service websites using the professional name Bulldog, he resigned from Talon News on February 8, 2005. Continuing to use the name Gannon, he has since created his own official homepage and worked for a time as a columnist for the Washington Blade newspaper, where he came out as gay.

Gannon routinely obtained daily passes to White House briefings. He attended four Bush press conferences and appeared regularly at White House press briefings. Although he did not qualify for a Congressional press pass, Gannon was given daily passes to White House press briefings “after supplying his real name, date of birth and Social Security number.”

Gannon currently operates a blog, JeffGannon.com, on which he criticizes perceived double standards used by both the “Old Media” and the “Angry Gay Left.” He recently published a book entitled, “The Great Media War.”

#4 5 Bizarre Dinosaurs

Masiakasaurus knopfleri

This dino is cool for several reasons. For one thing, it was named after Dire Straits guitarist Mark Knopfler. Until they discover and name the KeithRichardsasaurus this one pretty well has a stranglehold on coolest dinosaur name inspiration (note: There is a dinosaur informally called the Elvisaurus, but it’s not official so this one is still cooler). Also, look how ugly it is. I think this is a good nominee for ugliest set of teeth ever. Unexpectedly, this animal is not English. It was a carnivorous animal the size of a large dog that lived in modern day Madagascar during the Cretaceous period. The find helped support the theory that several places that are now separate were once part of a supercontinent called Gondwana. The creature is related to other fossilized dinosaurs discovered in India and Argentina, which were thought to have one point all been part of the supercontinent.
[Courtesy of environmentalgraffiti.com]

VERY FEEL Honorable Mention: Shuvuuia

According to National Geographic:

The turkey-size Shuvuuia (from the Mongolian word for bird) had a small, beaky head and a long neck. The fast-running dinosaur is considered one of the more bizarre theropods—and an animal that gives credence to the theory that dinosaurs and birds are closely related.

These chicken-sized dinosaurs with small, beaky heads and long necks had the unusual characteristic of short arms and only one functional finger. “No one has come up with a reasonable explanation for these forelimbs,” said Holtz.

I don’t know, there’s just something about the idea of a chicken-sized dinosaur that speaks to me…

#5 5 Worst Post-breakup Behaviors

4. Refrain from stalking
If monitoring his every move has become your favourite pastime, you need to put down the binoculars and force some distance between you and your ex. “If you still have mutual friends, resist grilling them for an update. Third-party information just sets the healing clock back to zero,” says Frankel.
[Courtesy of homemakers.com]

VERY FEEL Honorable Mention: Do not seek comfort in your lonely, man-hating friends

After a bad breakup, you’ll be strongly tempted to search for solace in your similarly man-less peers. You’ll be feeling a lot of intense negative emotions about your ex and having them validated by a trusted friend who can be counted on to tell you that he is a dog, or a psycho, or in love with his mother, or gay, or whatever is appropriate in your case, may seem like the sensible thing to do. But beware.

The sad truth is that your friend doesn’t want you to be happy. This woman provides the opposite of support. She drains you, quietly chipping away at your confidence, sabotaging your emotional machinery, using your pain as fuel for her elaborate engine of denial and spite.

She secretly resents and envies you, and only enjoys your friendship when she can trawl through your darkest feelings of inadequacy and self doubt. Don’t forget, she was hating from the start. Remember that time when he showed up at your house unannounced with a DVD and she tried to convince you he was a stalker? She doesn’t care about you. Her interest is in keeping you in the same prison of disappointment and delusion that she resides in for as long as possible.

Even if – best case scenario – the two of you decide to get tore up on mimosas and hit the clubs, this girl will only drag you down. She won’t pull any man, she’ll just get tired. She’ll manipulate the negative feelings you feel toward your ex into blanket hatred for all men. She will attempt to stir up some Spice Girls ‘girl power’, Faith Evans ‘you gets no love’ faux feminist bonding, but you know full well that if she ever finds a man of her own she will never call you again. We’re talking about a woman that has never experienced an orgasm in her entire life. And you’re going to her about man troubles? Girl, please.

Happy new year… And I’m out!

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